The Sound of Music
Such an interesting film...... a bunch of white people living up in the mountains that sing songs all day long. You'd think it'd be hard for me to relate to that situation ... but in a way, oh yes ... I can. I suppose if I was rich and didn't have to do a damn thing all day but sit on my ass and had a huge mansion out in the beautiful countryside far up in the mountains away from the plague known as humanity, I'd be smiling and singing and dancing all day too. Already though I've strayed from my point .... let me get back. What a wonderful thing it is to be able to listen to a good tune every now and then isn’t it? There’s always a song out there where the artist seems to empathize with you and something you might be going through at the time and just listening to the lyrics helps you work through your feelings. Sometimes it’s not even about that, sometimes it’s just nice to have music around to relax to and take your mind to another place or quite simply something to focus on just for the simple entertainment of it. Well, as is typical in my life, I'm being denied even that simple pleasure as I make my way to and from work everyday ...... or anywhere I go for that matter. The radio in my car has been out of order for almost two months now and let me tell you .... it is NOT a pleasant experience in the least. I used to have these problems before to some degree with my old POS of a car. Although the radio wasn't totally shot, I couldn't listen to any tapes or CD's in the car and sometimes I couldn't get clear reception on any radio stations. Thank god I love listening to talk radio because believe me the selection of songs that are played on the radio will leave QUITE a lot to be desired if you ever have to listen to them for a long period of time. In any event, even the I longed to have my music to listen to every now and then, and so when I finally made the decision to go and get a new car it goes without saying that I was quite excited. That's normal you say? Well of course it's a great feeling to be in a new car, none of the smae old noises or quirks that you got used to are present, the ride is lot smoother, that new car smell and look is always pleasing .... yes it's quite easy to get excited about a new car I know. The irony in this whole tale is that of all the aspects of having a new car there are to revel in, one of the things that I was happiest about was having a new radio. The whole situation is yet another mocking depiction of the reality of my life where any small thrill or pleasure I try to take from something I do or have is soon and with surety, to be stripped away. I suppose I should be happy that the problem I am having is minor as far as vehicle trouble goes .... and well yes I am thankful that I dont have brake, engine, or transmission trouble or anything like that that would impair the vehicle (and believe me I'm just waiting for that to show up) this problem is a lot more devastating in some ways. For those of you who will downplay my dilema, I defy you to take oohhhh just a few days off from turning on your radio while driving anywhere and clarity will hit you like Bobby hit Whitney. In short, it is quite maddening to travel, daily, through pretty heavy traffic, both ways, in just about complete silence. No more do I get to laugh on my way to work as Howard and the crew make fun of someone, or on my way home to the knuckleheads in Dahl's studio doing just about the same thing. No slammin tunes to bop to while passing the eternity it seems to take to get anywhere during rush hour times. Nope ...... just silence. In the absence of the pleasant sounds that used to fill my vehicle I have found that I now tend to do a lot more contemplation and thinking about, what else but, myself ...... and let me tell you that's not a subject anyone wants to dwell on. With all this quiet time I have I've found my mind drifiting to ponder why things are the way they are for me. Why don't I have any money, why I am finding it so hard to deal with girls (ahhh a post all unto itself) why have I been in school so long, why can't my f????ng radio just work so that I can at LEAST have a little entertainment and laughter during my day? Nothing but time and wicked silence to lament over and contemplate past mishaps, current disappointments, and oh yes, future failures. What does all this mean? To cut to the chase, all this time spent in thought has allowed me to become a lot more familiar with myself. That's a good thing you say? Haa haa let me propose a little question then ..... there's an old saying that comes to mind that would ask "what does familiarity breed?" To anyone familiar with adages and quotes and the like, you know the answer to be contempt. Yes, all this time alone with nothing but my thoughts has caused me to only become more depressed and loath myself even more, something I didn't think was possible. Man ........ I gotta get my radio fixed soon......
posted by K C at 10:15 PM
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